Oh Look, My Favorite Luddite Is Back

So there was a bit of a mix up when our computers were being sent to the office last week. I ended up having to use Boss #3’s computer until mine arrived. It worked out because he was on vacation for the last week.When he came back, I gave him his computer back. And as usual when something goes wrong, I’m the first one blamed. It also doesn’t help that Boss #3 has an aversion to technology…

*Phone rings*

Me: “Chels.”

Boss #3: “What are you doing?

Me: “My job.

Boss #3: “Not likely…”

Me: “What do you want?”

Boss #3: “What did you do to my computer? I can’t log on.”

In the background Boss #2: “What did you doooooo?”

Me: “I’m coming down there….” *click*

Image

 

Walk into office and both of them start yapping at me for hanging up on them. I just sit down and type in the password that came with the computer…

Me: “Here, you’re signed in.”

Boss #3: “What did you do?”

Me: “Turned on caps lock…”

Image

Boss #2: “How did we not figure that out? So simple, even she can do it.”

Me: “You do know that I’m not a caveman. I need a raise.”

Walks out of office

Image

No respect I tell ya, no respect. 

Advertisements

This Girl Needs Every Wink Of Beauty Sleep She Can Get…

Generally, I like birds. I think thery’re pretty (and I’m super jealous that they get to fly).

Image

But when they were like, “let us sing you the song of our people” this morning…

Image

I really wish I had a shot gun, or least something to throw…

Image

Oh, the joys of spring…

I’m My Own Worst Enemy (Well Actually, My Subconcious Is)

During the winter months, I really struggle to wake up in the morning. So I started setting multiple alarms to slowly wake myself up. They normally go as follows:

5:00 AM

5:30 AM

6:00 AM

6:30 AM

Right as rain, right? I’ve only had one incident where this didn’t work for me, that was until this morning.

Apparently my scumbag brain thought it would be funny to have me, in my sleep, set my phone alarm to go off every 15 mins for two hours.

Image

I would wake up super confused, and go right back to sleep when I saw what time it was.

Image

Was my attitude towards fixing the problem. Procrastinators unite, later.

Single Girl Problems

So, I’ve had this conversation far too many times in the last couple of months…

“Why are you single? You are so…”

“Pretty”

Image

“Smart”

Image

“Funny”

Image

 I know. I know. I’m so amazing, I should just date myself.

Image

But when I respond to them with a, “I don’t know. I guess it’s because I just haven’t found the right person.”

Those same people respond with…

“Oh honey, you are just being too picky. But don’t worry, you’ll find someone. Just be patient.”

Image

 Those are conflicting ideas!

You do know that this conversation started off with a simple, “What are your plans for the weekend?”, right?

Dear Brain, Be Glad I Don’t Have A Q-Tip Today…

You know when you finally manage to drag yourself out of bed to go shower…

zombie walk

And you run into your roommate, who is also trying to use the ONLY bathroom in the apartment, at the same time?

pushing

its my turn

But she asks nicely, so you let her go first. That and because she actually has important things to get done at her job (no, I’m serious).

wonder woman

So you go back to bed only to realize…

Image

My “fool-proof” 4 alarm system, has been ruined.

Must come up with a new plan. Back to the drawing board…

I Should Have Just Stayed In Bed …

When I awoke, the birds were chirping and the sun was peaking its sleepily head just over the horizon. My mood was annoyingly chipper, it was the sort of mood where you are just ready to take on the world. Humming to myself, “Do You Want to Build a Snowman”, I slipped on my favorite pair of jeans and headded to the bus.  Now I take a bus into work every morning, and bring in my work skirt in with me to change into once I get into work…I had rumor that wearing a skirt outside in 30 degree weather, is not an incredibly bright thing to do.  Why this is relvant will be reveled later in the tale.

Recently the temperatures have been freezing or just below it, so the local fire department has been opening their fire hydrants to makes sure they don’t freeze. Great, wonderful, good for them…except, they don’t salt the ground afterwards. Thus leaving a river of black ice all down the road, just waiting for a klutz to walk by and fall victim to all of its icy glory. A klutz, like me.

So after my dangerous and peril ridden trek to the bus stop, the bus finally arrives. A thought strikes me as I’m about to board, “Did I grab my skirt for work?”…the answer was a resounding, “nope, you lose.” Already running a little late this morning, I rushed through the ice ridden streets to my apartment. There on my bed, was the object of my desire. I quickly grabbed my skirt and rushed back to the bus stop. Now the streets that I have to cross to get there are rather perilous on a good day, because someone in their infinite wisdom decided that putting a sidewalk at this busy intersection would be a waste of tax payers’ money. So after I dashed across the road, I realized that my metro pass was missing.

No pass =  no bus, so guess where I was headed back to…you guessed it, my apartment. The cardholder on my lanyard is broken, who knew where I could have possibly dropped my pass. Luckily, I did find my metro laying in the middle of my living room (which is nowhere near my bedroom). How it got there, I have no clue, but I found it. By this point, I am running half an hour late.

It would appear that I wasn’t the only one running late this morning either, because my bus was packed. I squeezed onto the bus and hoped for the best, but too late. What should have been a 10 minute drive to work, turned into a half an hour commute. And since I lost my headphones earlier in the week, I spent that whole trip listening to a conversation in Ethiopian. Do you speak Ethiopian? Cause I don’t (I think it was Ethiopian).

Finally I arrive at work. What does this girl need? A serious coffee fix, that’s what. So I mosey on over to the Starbucks in the building, which it is crowded as always.  So I patiently waited, and waited, and waited. Not one, not two, or three people who placed their orders after mine, but four, all received their drinks before me. By this point, I have accepted that today is just not my day.

I make my way back to the office, only to find out the copy machine is broken. Fine, I will just wait for the pay checks to arrive. I won’t bore you with the details, just know that I have to sort these checks manually (500+). And on this day two sets of checks had been sent, and I had to have to figure out which set of checks were the correct one… oh joy. Half way through this ardiuous task, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously, you can’t make this up.

That’s right, my building was being evacuated because there was an actual fire. Now you know how I mentioned that I change at work out of my jeans…well there is not a whole lot time to do that when you are being evacuated from a building. So there I was standing there in 30 degree weather, in.a.skirt. Finally we get back inside, and we find out that a microwave fire was to blame.

Needless to say, I am ready for that happy hour drink(s) and hope against hope that tomorrow is a better day…watch, now that I’ve said that, a bird is probably going to use me for target practice.

Image