At least offer to buy a girl a steak dinner

As I sit here and eat a tuna salad for lunch…



I May Or May Not Be Easily Amuse…Butterfly?

It’s a Monday, and I’ve been in a super weird mood all day. Pretty sure it had something to do with the bizarre dream I had last night…I don’t why I haven’t learned to not watch shows like “Dexter”, right before bed. Anyways, I’ve only managed to complete one task today, and that’s because I let the copy machine do all of the work. What is it that I have managed to accomplish?

They go as follows:

  • Draw pictures on sticky notes, and plaster them all over other people’s computers. (They were all works of art. They should frame them, maybe they’ll be worth money someday)
  • playfully attach a lock to someone’s back pack, and only wonder if they know the combination after I shut the lock. (I’m awesome at flirting, or I would be if I was in 4th grade)
  • Refill my water bottle 7 times (Which also meant I escaped to the Ladies room several times, whoops)
  • Read and reread the directions for my new Pre-work out 50 times and wonder if it is going to make my heart explode (But seriously, I’m still terrified)
  • Think about food and wonder if the cute trainer is going to be at the gym today (He’s so dreamy)

Then I went on a search for office supplies, sticky notes to be exact. Wonder why I was running low on those?…And I discovered that the door on the supply closet squeaks. Now remember, I’m in a super weird mood and my bosses’ door is right in front of the supply closet…

Me: *giggles while repeatedly opening and shutting the squeaky door*


 Boss #3: “Only you would find the humor in a squeaky door, weirdo.”


He knows me so well, and accepts me for who I am. 

My Life Would Be a Whole Lot Easier If I Could Just “Chelsea Proof” It…

Guess who just managed to squirt lotion all over her black skirt…


Great. I know, now I look like a super “classy” lady.


Hmmmm, I wonder if I color it in with a black sharpie, if anyone would notice?


Ok, or maybe I’ll just won’t leave my desk for the rest of the day… 

I Feel Like I’m In Elementary School All Over Again

No joke, I’ve been shot with rubber bands multiple times today by one of my co-workers.


And every time I’ve tried to retaliate, I would epically miss hitting him. It has been rather embarrassing…


So I finally got fed up, and decided to steal all of his ammo. I’m currently holding several rubber bands hostage at my desk…


I win. 


This Girl Needs Every Wink Of Beauty Sleep She Can Get…

Generally, I like birds. I think thery’re pretty (and I’m super jealous that they get to fly).


But when they were like, “let us sing you the song of our people” this morning…


I really wish I had a shot gun, or least something to throw…


Oh, the joys of spring…

Insert Foot In Mouth Moment… The Fourth One Today

So I’m in my bosses office working on some flight details, but my brain is just not having it today…

Boss #2: “yada, yada, yada”

Me: “Huh?”


Boss #3: “Girl, wake up.”

Me: “I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

Boss #3: “Too much information!”


Me: “No, not because of that. I was having nightmares…*mutters under breathe* …but I wish it was because of that.”

Boss #3: “Ahhhhhh…..toooooo much information……!!!! You’re batting for two and I’m leaving this conversation alone.”

Boss #2: “Huh? I zoned out, but I feel like I just missed something…why is she turning bright red?”


Sometimes, I just need to learn when to keep my mouth shut.

And I Thought I Was Bad At Hitting On People

Maybe it’s just me, actually it probably is just me but… I really don’t understand why guys think it’s a good line to ask the girl in front of them in line to buy their food. Personally,  I don’t find it particularly charming and I never know how to respond to it. Especially when you are probably old enough to be my father, but I guess that’s what I get for just standing there minding my own business.

Guy behind me in line: “So, you want to buy my lunch for me?”

Me: *nervous laugh* “No, maybe next paycheck.”


Guy behind me in line: “So, you’ve probably been working here long. What like 10 years?”

Me: “Nope…”


Guy behind me in line: “Is that right?”

Me: “Yeah, 10 years ago I was 16 and in high school…”

*buy my own lunch, and strut away*


This is why I wear my headphones everywhere…so I can avoid awkward conversations like that one.