At least offer to buy a girl a steak dinner

As I sit here and eat a tuna salad for lunch…



This Girl Needs Every Wink Of Beauty Sleep She Can Get…

Generally, I like birds. I think thery’re pretty (and I’m super jealous that they get to fly).


But when they were like, “let us sing you the song of our people” this morning…


I really wish I had a shot gun, or least something to throw…


Oh, the joys of spring…

Insert Foot In Mouth Moment… The Fourth One Today

So I’m in my bosses office working on some flight details, but my brain is just not having it today…

Boss #2: “yada, yada, yada”

Me: “Huh?”


Boss #3: “Girl, wake up.”

Me: “I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

Boss #3: “Too much information!”


Me: “No, not because of that. I was having nightmares…*mutters under breathe* …but I wish it was because of that.”

Boss #3: “Ahhhhhh…..toooooo much information……!!!! You’re batting for two and I’m leaving this conversation alone.”

Boss #2: “Huh? I zoned out, but I feel like I just missed something…why is she turning bright red?”


Sometimes, I just need to learn when to keep my mouth shut.

Yeah, I’ve Totally Planned For My Future…

Last night I went to an event that discussed financial planning (…whoops, I knew there was something I forgot to do in my early 20’s) and the presentation was so good, that it really got me thinking…


Then I had a nightmare about having an unplanned child, and it was terrifying. I had no money to take can of it and according to my subconsious, I am clueless as to how to use a breast pump (I have really weird dreams).


So yeah, I contacted the financial advisor as soon as I got into work this morning…


Nothing like a cold sweat and fear to motivate you early in the morning

Looks Like I Missed The Memo

Of course it would be the day that…

I am walking with a slight limp


And completely forgot to do my hair. (Unbrushed, sloppy, wet, messy buns are completely professional, right?)


That my building is flooded with EXTREMEMLY attractive men in suits.


Don’t worry attractive men, I’ll save from having to see my bustedness (is that a word?) by hiding in the my office. 


But Seriously, What Was I Supposed To Say To That?

It’s pay-day, so I went to the omelette bar to get my “pay-day omelette” this morning…why do things keep happening when I go to get an omelette?

Sam the Omelette guy: “You ready for the weekend?”

Me: “Most certainly am! I get to go see my little cousins. I’m really excited.”


Sam the Omelette guy: “I bet they’re excited too. I wish I was one of your cousins, cause I know I’d be excited to see you.”


Me: “…ummm, so I’ve never met them before. So that’s exciting.”


After that, he asked if I was married. The answer is an obvious “No” (no ring), but I may have made up a boyfriend…

Where I Go, A Mess Follows

As many of my friends can attest to, I’m a pretty messy person.


So every time the cleaning lady stops by my cube at work, I always feel awful.


It doesn’t help that she always gives me this look as she vacuums…


I’m sorry, I’ll try better next…week