All before I had my first sip of coffee

You know type of morning, when the sun never really comes up and neither do you? Like it doesn’t matter if you went to bed early and got a little extra sleep, functioning is just not high on the priority list…Yeah, today is one of those mornings.

So when this happened while I was getting coffee….

Kinda sorta Boss #5: “Well goooood morning to you too.”

Me:…

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Kinda sorta Boss #5: “Have a rough night last night? Never really wake up this morning? I see you put a lot of effort into your look today.”

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Me: “Thank you for saying that I look rough today and pointing out that I’m not wearing any make-up.”

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Kinda sorta Boss #5: “No, no, I, uh, uh….I was talking about your hair.”

Me: “No, you just gestured my whole face…and just to let you know I let my hair air dry every day, and today is no different.

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Nope. I’m not having it at all today. Consider yourselves warned.

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I Almost Feel Sorry For The Guy…Almost

As some of you know, Boss #2 will leaving our company soon. So they currently have someone training to replace him, we’ll call him Boss #4 (In-training). In the last few weeks, Boss #4 (In-training) he has been sitting in for all of upper management as they take their vacation days. This week he is filling in for Boss #3 (who is my direct boss) and he is sitting at his desk.  Now as mentioned in previous posts, I enjoy, literally tossing my paperwork into a basket on my boss’s desk. I don’t think Boss #4 (In-training) is quite sure what to make of me yet…

Me: *Tosses paperwork into basket*

 Boss #4 (In-training): “While I am sitting at this desk, you will gently place the paperwork in the basket.

And then pleasantly greet me.”

 Me:

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 Boss #2: “Dude, you might as well give up while you’re ahead…because chances are, now she is just going to throw it at you.”

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Me: “Ahhh you know me so well! But seriously, you should probably listen to him.”

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Boss #4 (In-training): “I’m sure she’s a joy to work with every day.”

 Boss #2: “You have no idea…”

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Hey Boss #4 (In-training), good luck. You have no idea what you are in for.

 

 

 

Oh Look, My Favorite Luddite Is Back

So there was a bit of a mix up when our computers were being sent to the office last week. I ended up having to use Boss #3’s computer until mine arrived. It worked out because he was on vacation for the last week.When he came back, I gave him his computer back. And as usual when something goes wrong, I’m the first one blamed. It also doesn’t help that Boss #3 has an aversion to technology…

*Phone rings*

Me: “Chels.”

Boss #3: “What are you doing?

Me: “My job.

Boss #3: “Not likely…”

Me: “What do you want?”

Boss #3: “What did you do to my computer? I can’t log on.”

In the background Boss #2: “What did you doooooo?”

Me: “I’m coming down there….” *click*

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Walk into office and both of them start yapping at me for hanging up on them. I just sit down and type in the password that came with the computer…

Me: “Here, you’re signed in.”

Boss #3: “What did you do?”

Me: “Turned on caps lock…”

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Boss #2: “How did we not figure that out? So simple, even she can do it.”

Me: “You do know that I’m not a caveman. I need a raise.”

Walks out of office

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No respect I tell ya, no respect. 

Thanks…I Think?

Boss #2 told me today that he will be putting in his 2 weeks notice soon. I am sad that he is leaving, but very happy for him for having this opportunity. When I mentioned to him that I need to get my job searching act together, this happened…

Boss #2: “Yeah totally, if you ever need a letter of recommendation just let me know.”

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Me: “Sweet, thanks! It should say “Chelsea is the best employee, ever.””

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Boss #2: “…and that she is very sassy, and will always keep you on your toes. Sometimes, she even does her work.”

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Me: “Great, with a recommendation like that, I’ll never find another job…”

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Best of luck at the new job, Boss #2! Now it is definitely time for me to make my workplace escape… 

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If Looks Could Kill…

I remembered to put perfume on when I got to my cubicle this morning.

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Right afterwards Boss #2 comes over to my cubicle to tell me something , *sniff sniff* “you don’t smell awful today”.

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Me:…

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Boss #2: “Ekkk, I’m kidding. I’m kidding.”

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It is so fun to scare full-grown men with just a look.

In This War, No One Wins

It’s like a daily “Tug of War” battle between my boss and I.

Everyday, I give him a stack of paperwork, sometimes several inches thick (you can laugh, I set that one up for you) and when I DROP it off on his desk,  I tend to laugh with malicious glee and joy.  (yes, I am aware that there is something slightly wrong with me).

BWHAHAHAHA (no seriously, just like that)

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But like all paperwork it has to be processed and returned. And after several weeks, he returns mine with his own maniacal laugh and he even does a little jig.

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Not sure why I didn’t see that coming…

so not cool

Karma’s a bitch