This man certainly know the way to a girl’s heart

Please note the dates…



Well Excuse Me For WALKING…

My building is full of long hallways, the kind that make passing people really awkward. Once you finally pass them, it normally involves some sort of small talk or greetings. Generally I can avoid this by looking at the ground and walking quickly. But today I was looking dead ahead…

As I passed one of our officers (someone I’m pretty sure I’ve never spoken to) he says to me, “Oh man, don’t mess with the Madame. “


I literally stopped mid-step and just looked at him…


The only thing that I could think to say in response was, “Yes, that is exactly the reputation that I want amongst the officers. Go tell all of your friends.”


What just happened? Guess I must have had left my “Resting Bitch Face” on again…?

My Life Would Be a Whole Lot Easier If I Could Just “Chelsea Proof” It…

Guess who just managed to squirt lotion all over her black skirt…


Great. I know, now I look like a super “classy” lady.


Hmmmm, I wonder if I color it in with a black sharpie, if anyone would notice?


Ok, or maybe I’ll just won’t leave my desk for the rest of the day… 

I Almost Feel Sorry For The Guy…Almost

As some of you know, Boss #2 will leaving our company soon. So they currently have someone training to replace him, we’ll call him Boss #4 (In-training). In the last few weeks, Boss #4 (In-training) he has been sitting in for all of upper management as they take their vacation days. This week he is filling in for Boss #3 (who is my direct boss) and he is sitting at his desk.  Now as mentioned in previous posts, I enjoy, literally tossing my paperwork into a basket on my boss’s desk. I don’t think Boss #4 (In-training) is quite sure what to make of me yet…

Me: *Tosses paperwork into basket*

 Boss #4 (In-training): “While I am sitting at this desk, you will gently place the paperwork in the basket.

And then pleasantly greet me.”



 Boss #2: “Dude, you might as well give up while you’re ahead…because chances are, now she is just going to throw it at you.”


Me: “Ahhh you know me so well! But seriously, you should probably listen to him.”


Boss #4 (In-training): “I’m sure she’s a joy to work with every day.”

 Boss #2: “You have no idea…”


Hey Boss #4 (In-training), good luck. You have no idea what you are in for.




I Feel Like I’m In Elementary School All Over Again

No joke, I’ve been shot with rubber bands multiple times today by one of my co-workers.


And every time I’ve tried to retaliate, I would epically miss hitting him. It has been rather embarrassing…


So I finally got fed up, and decided to steal all of his ammo. I’m currently holding several rubber bands hostage at my desk…


I win. 


I Want To NEVER Have That Conversation Again

The most convenient restroom to my office, is a unisex bathroom in the office next door. It’s always awkward when you use it, because you often run into the person who has used the restroom before you, or into the person who will be using the restroom after you. Today I happened to run into my project manager…


And he, like most men, had left the seat of the toilet up.


Anyways, the acoustics in the bathroom are pretty loud, so you can hear what is going on in there…say like, the dropping of the seat of a toilet.


So when I came out of the bathroom, one of the people from the office next door was in the kitchen area right next to the bathroom and I had the following conversation with him:

Guy from Next Door: “I think you might need to have a restroom etiquette conversation with Mr. (*Insert Project Manger’s name).”

Me: “Ummm, I, uh…. about what exactly?

Guy from Next Door: “Leaving the toilet seat up. It’s a pet peeve of mine.”

Me: *thinking to myself, “why are you listening to me in the bathroom...”* “Mine too, but he’s my project manager so I don’t believe I will be having that conversation with him anytime soon…”

Guy from Next Door:  “Oh, he’s you project manager. Then maybe you shouldn’t, I think I will though.”

Me: “Yeah…You go right ahead and do that. Let me know how that goes.”


Don’t think I’ll be using that bathroom again, anytime soon. Seriously, probably the most bizarre and random conversation I have ever had in my life.