All before I had my first sip of coffee

You know type of morning, when the sun never really comes up and neither do you? Like it doesn’t matter if you went to bed early and got a little extra sleep, functioning is just not high on the priority list…Yeah, today is one of those mornings.

So when this happened while I was getting coffee….

Kinda sorta Boss #5: “Well goooood morning to you too.”

Me:…

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Kinda sorta Boss #5: “Have a rough night last night? Never really wake up this morning? I see you put a lot of effort into your look today.”

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Me: “Thank you for saying that I look rough today and pointing out that I’m not wearing any make-up.”

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Kinda sorta Boss #5: “No, no, I, uh, uh….I was talking about your hair.”

Me: “No, you just gestured my whole face…and just to let you know I let my hair air dry every day, and today is no different.

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Nope. I’m not having it at all today. Consider yourselves warned.

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Oh Look, My Favorite Luddite Is Back

So there was a bit of a mix up when our computers were being sent to the office last week. I ended up having to use Boss #3’s computer until mine arrived. It worked out because he was on vacation for the last week.When he came back, I gave him his computer back. And as usual when something goes wrong, I’m the first one blamed. It also doesn’t help that Boss #3 has an aversion to technology…

*Phone rings*

Me: “Chels.”

Boss #3: “What are you doing?

Me: “My job.

Boss #3: “Not likely…”

Me: “What do you want?”

Boss #3: “What did you do to my computer? I can’t log on.”

In the background Boss #2: “What did you doooooo?”

Me: “I’m coming down there….” *click*

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Walk into office and both of them start yapping at me for hanging up on them. I just sit down and type in the password that came with the computer…

Me: “Here, you’re signed in.”

Boss #3: “What did you do?”

Me: “Turned on caps lock…”

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Boss #2: “How did we not figure that out? So simple, even she can do it.”

Me: “You do know that I’m not a caveman. I need a raise.”

Walks out of office

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No respect I tell ya, no respect. 

Insert Foot In Mouth Moment… The Fourth One Today

So I’m in my bosses office working on some flight details, but my brain is just not having it today…

Boss #2: “yada, yada, yada”

Me: “Huh?”

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Boss #3: “Girl, wake up.”

Me: “I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

Boss #3: “Too much information!”

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Me: “No, not because of that. I was having nightmares…*mutters under breathe* …but I wish it was because of that.”

Boss #3: “Ahhhhhh…..toooooo much information……!!!! You’re batting for two and I’m leaving this conversation alone.”

Boss #2: “Huh? I zoned out, but I feel like I just missed something…why is she turning bright red?”

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Sometimes, I just need to learn when to keep my mouth shut.

And I Thought I Was Bad At Hitting On People

Maybe it’s just me, actually it probably is just me but… I really don’t understand why guys think it’s a good line to ask the girl in front of them in line to buy their food. Personally,  I don’t find it particularly charming and I never know how to respond to it. Especially when you are probably old enough to be my father, but I guess that’s what I get for just standing there minding my own business.

Guy behind me in line: “So, you want to buy my lunch for me?”

Me: *nervous laugh* “No, maybe next paycheck.”

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Guy behind me in line: “So, you’ve probably been working here long. What like 10 years?”

Me: “Nope…”

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Guy behind me in line: “Is that right?”

Me: “Yeah, 10 years ago I was 16 and in high school…”

*buy my own lunch, and strut away*

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This is why I wear my headphones everywhere…so I can avoid awkward conversations like that one.

I Want To NEVER Have That Conversation Again

The most convenient restroom to my office, is a unisex bathroom in the office next door. It’s always awkward when you use it, because you often run into the person who has used the restroom before you, or into the person who will be using the restroom after you. Today I happened to run into my project manager…

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And he, like most men, had left the seat of the toilet up.

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Anyways, the acoustics in the bathroom are pretty loud, so you can hear what is going on in there…say like, the dropping of the seat of a toilet.

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So when I came out of the bathroom, one of the people from the office next door was in the kitchen area right next to the bathroom and I had the following conversation with him:

Guy from Next Door: “I think you might need to have a restroom etiquette conversation with Mr. (*Insert Project Manger’s name).”

Me: “Ummm, I, uh…. about what exactly?

Guy from Next Door: “Leaving the toilet seat up. It’s a pet peeve of mine.”

Me: *thinking to myself, “why are you listening to me in the bathroom...”* “Mine too, but he’s my project manager so I don’t believe I will be having that conversation with him anytime soon…”

Guy from Next Door:  “Oh, he’s you project manager. Then maybe you shouldn’t, I think I will though.”

Me: “Yeah…You go right ahead and do that. Let me know how that goes.”

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Don’t think I’ll be using that bathroom again, anytime soon. Seriously, probably the most bizarre and random conversation I have ever had in my life. 

 

 

Remind Me Again Why I Thought This Was a Good Idea?

I had some free time on my hands and I  thought that picking a second job up as a swim instructor, would be a great idea.  I used to teach lessons when I was in high school and college, so I only remembered the fun parts…

Going to work dressed as a bum (showering beforehand, optional)

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Getting paid to play in the water

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No pants

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What I forgot about was…

How cold it can get being in the water for nearly 6 hours straight

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How impossible it is to get rid of that pool water smell…Two showers later, I still stink

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How unintentionally violent kids can be…Yes, one of the kids did do a flying kick into my stomach this weekend. Image

I have a feeling this second job is going to make for some interesting blog posts…

 

Ummm, I Think Not

I met up with an old college friend for dinner tonight. When the waitress brought out our food, she brought out a platter of humus with veggies and a hamburger with fries. Guess which one she tried to hand him and which she tried to hand me…

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Side note: I ran two miles before going to dinner

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She quickly gave me my hamburger, and all was right in the world.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with food, and I’m not even kind of sorry about it.